I’ll assume from your lack of commentary, that you weren’t sure what to make of my “reblogging” last week.  That or you were busy shopping. Or you were lulled into a post-turkey eating stupor by the holiday. Most likely, no one commented because one of my most loyal commenters wrote the thing — and she couldn’t very well comment on her own blog, now could she?

After all, there’ve been plenty of times when she’s been the only voice out there to let me know I did, in fact, hit ‘publish’. But the point is, I spent enough time fretting over this whole reblogging thing to make the entire experiment in time saving null and void. I need to learn to let go.

I am plagued by a severe case of perfectionism. First, I worried over publishing someone else’s words. Then, I wasted time figuring out exactly how to do it. And finally, I spent at least an hour obsessing over the fact that the two sentences I did write kept popping up at the bottom of the post and not the top. Sometimes you just have to stop.

I have no problem knowing when to quit in other situations. For example, I have another writer friend who marvels at my succinct blogs. What she doesn’t know is, I actually forget half the things I planned to say in the first place. And by the time I remember them, usually during a proofread, I realize it sounds pretty good without them and it’s too much work to figure out where to fit them in anyway. Writing secrets of the senile.

I also have no problem letting go of my book. I’m done (yes, that’s right, finished!) and you always hear about authors missing the process or their characters. I don’t. Maybe, that’s cause I wrote a memoir. My main character is me and it’s pretty hard to miss yourself. My other characters are my mom and Frankie and hey, they’re right here. As for missing the process, well, I’ll just start another book. I’m looking forward to trying my hand at fiction. My next character will be the opposite of me. Maybe, a marathon runner. Who’s scared of dogs.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep working on this idea of letting go. It would be nice to have a  messy house once in awhile and focus on the things that really matter. Or to not spend half the morning making my bed, rolling back and forth, back and forth, straightening the covers. But, say what you will, I’m never giving up my alphabetized CD’s. That’s just plain sense.

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.

~Lao Tzu

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