thStay tuned …

for a tweet from your president-elect.

Okay, despite that small dig, I’m not going to be contentious. Or I’ll try hard not to be. Instead, I’ll attempt to unite my readers with something that surely we can all agree on: this is some good entertainment.

As you may know, I never used to watch politics or the news. Even innocuous stuff like the weather. I made fun of my mother for watching it 24/7 and then wondering why she thought the sky was falling. She’d come into my apartment, raining all over my sunshine about some “Storm of the Century” and telling me we needed to head out for supplies before the lines got too bad. And, of course, barely a branch came down.

It was last week sometime before eight in the morning as I cackled in delight over Mitt Romney’s dinner of cooked crow and the possibility of Republican in-fighting when I realized I might be hooked. Women always become their mothers. To resist is futile.

Next week is the finale of The Voice and I haven’t tuned in since the debates. What’s the world coming to? My guilty pleasure doesn’t even involve guilt anymore. It’s a marathon of Real Politicians of the United States and I’m making popcorn at 1:00 in the afternoon and pressing pause when I have to go to the bathroom. I’ve even started staying up late for SNL. I get all the jokes now.

And I’m smarter, too. I don’t shy away from political conversations. I’m all too happy to show off my new found knowledge. If Mom blanks on the name of some perfectly qualified billionaire cabinet pick, (okay, second dig) I’m right there supplying the name like a smug teacher’s pet, waving her hand about wildly. (Pick me! Pick me!)

There is one person clearly loving this more than me, though. Donald Trump. As evidenced by his “I told you so tour” … a-hem … I mean, “thank you tour.” (Okay, I’ll stop counting.) But really, can anyone doubt the sheer satisfaction derived from having “never-Trumpers” doing their walk of shame past the press pool up the gleaming elevators of Trump Tower? Air Force One may have a “ridiculous” price tag, but that is priceless.

I’m still the same person, though. I believe in balance and meditating and not watching too much TV, even if it is Top World Leader instead of Top Chef. I want to accept the things I can’t control and not make myself nuts yelling at the TV like a crazy person. I strive towards Zen.

So like any good addict, I’ve given myself a deadline. The inauguration. I promise I’ll stop then. I mean, I can’t stop cold turkey! It’s my duty as a citizen to stay informed! Besides, you know the creator of Celebrity Apprentice is said to be involved in Trump’s big day. The mere thought of the next president flying in by helicopter has me giddy with excitement at the absurdity. Besides, in the words of a favorite cable news anchor, “This is not the time to stop paying attention.”